16th
The Garth to My Wayne (& Vice Versa)
School is done. And my worst fear has reared its unwanted head. My best friend doesn’t want to hang out with me.
Err… my best guy friend. I do understand that we live in different cities (20-30 minute drive) and I do not own a running automobile anymore. Not to mention his hatred for driving. Anyhoo. This has been horrible. And terrible. And, quite honestly, ripping giant, painful gashes in my most tender and vulnerable of areas. No, not that one… Or that one.. Ah, yes. That one. And that sinking feeling just grows and grows with every ignored, forgotten, and/or avoided “Hey! Do you want to hang out [insert day/time here]?!” text I send. Even questions like, “How are your grad. school applications coming along,” and, “How are you doing,” go completely unanswered. So it has, moreorless, become a friendship consisting of me, writing text messages on my little, hand-held, piece of technology, and then sending those little blurbs of information, anecdotes, questions, weather forecasts, jokes, thoughts, incite, etc. to his little, hand-held, piece of technology. It is comparable to a virtual diary that only sometimes responds to you, which I s’pose isn’t that bad, on account diaries typically do not respond to their authors. Unless, I missed that memo, of course. But this is not a circumstance of ink/graphite on memories of trees or even the all-knowing-and-welcoming interwow. This is a circumstance of two very alive human beings. Sometimes, I wish I had it in me to just tell him off completely. Something short&sweet, brimming with snark and obscenities. Others… have also suggested this method. And, by now, I know that I probably should. But I can’t. And I don’t. That would hurt me even more than the tears and sleep I have lost over it. Even more than the heavy, black, eye makeup that has poured into my eyes time and time again. Perhaps, it would hurt even more than my feelings already do. No… Instead, I prevail. Foolishly and stupidly. With the resilience of a hard, rubber ball.
So school is done. And my worst fear has reared its unwanted head. My best friend doesn’t want to hang out with me. And he promised me this wouldn’t happen.
