29th
It’s fahkin’ haht.
Everything here is still going swell (super well). :)
This just in: we’re growing up. And this is prooooobably our last solid year together. Bittersweetness is hanging all around us.
Okay now. Maybe it’s because it is my secret girly time of the month, or whatevs, but I’m about to touch on something that just occurred to me while getting ready for bed. I’m not sure if you get grossed out by talk about vaginas very easily, but if you do…. I would stay clear of this paragraph. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Being a woman and having a vagina of my very own, I can’t help but notice that vaginas have become notorious for sticking things in. It’s like… the new hiding spot or something. I mean… come on. We womenz are always sticking things, or having other people stick things, in our vagines. Take a look at it. You have the usual sex things, including penises (plus, or minus, condoms), fingers, sex toys, female contraceptives, other?. You have the trip(s) to the gyno., so… fingers, medications (depending), and weird instruments there. You have secret girly time of the month things like tampons. And babies. Babies pass through on their way out. And then you have all of the weird fetish stuff that people may be into, but I guess all of that jazz could also technically fit under “other?” for sexual purposes listed above. But then you have crazy shit. Like girls hiding their drug paraphernalia in there. I mean, fuck. Nobody’s going to look in your vagina! And I am sure it is probably quite a happenin’ spot to smuggle drugs in as well. And, if you remember, in the 2003 The Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake, you have the girl in the very beginning who pulls a gun (a fucking gun!) out of her very own vajayjay before blowing her brains through the back window. Now, I am really quite positive I’m missing a lot of bases here, but shit. Vaginas must be one of the top places to put things. And in more recent years, it seems, to hide things. So, children. The next time you’re playing hide and seek with all of your friends, just go crawl up the local prostitute’s vagina. No one will ever find you there…
